Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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