you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Randomize
