That's when you crack a 10am beer
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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