He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
