i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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