All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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