No stitches, just platelets and will power
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
