you would pick up someone in the library
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
