please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
