you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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