haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
it glows. i had to have it.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
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You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
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I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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