She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
