Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
