I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
