Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
