final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
