I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
