the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Do vagina's smell?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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