I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
