I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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