Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
