Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
