i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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