Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
