He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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