After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
