Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Randomize
