I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
