...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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