Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Someone shattered a urinal.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
