The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
