K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
