Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
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I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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