I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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