so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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