I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
