I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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