I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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