Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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