people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i wish my penis had a tongue
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
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nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
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I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize