The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
