Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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