we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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