Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
