No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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