She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Farmville is her only friend.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
