Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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