if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She's the barista slut.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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