I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize