I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
