i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
