Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She bit a glass in half.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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