Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
