Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
