The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
