how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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