I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
