Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
