It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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