nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
