Say something about gay babies.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
