That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
