I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
