i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize